09 May 2012

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead 2011 - REVIEW by Scott Shoyer with Anything Horror

Aahhh yes … just read that title again!! The Texas FrightmareWeekend 2012 dug deep for this one (hee hee)!! This was listed on the program as a “Secret Screening” due to it not being picked up yet for North American distribution. The title, ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD, captures exactly what this film is all about. This is another crazy, over-the-top Japanese, comic book-style action and gore film from the same mind that brought you The MACHINE GIRL, ROBOGEISHA, and MUTANT GIRLS SQUAD (which I saw at last year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend). This also proves something that I’ve been wondering about for a while now: Director Noboru Iguchi has a huge ass fetish. No, I’m not saying he likes huge asses, only that his fetish for the human derrière is a consuming theme in most of his films. And not just the ass itself, but things going in and coming out of the ass as well. This theme of his comes to a head (or should I say ‘tail’; hee hee) in ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD.

Let’s cut to the chase: Did I enjoy ZOMBIE ASS? The short answer is yes. But mind you that I saw this film at a horror convention with other fanatical horror fans at midnight after everyone in the audience had a few cocktails (that’s putting it mildly). In other words, I saw this with the right crowd. Would I get the same experience if I watched it at my house alone? Most likely not. I will admit, though, that there are more than a few laugh-out-loud moments in ZOMBIE ASS that would’ve had me laughing even if I was alone. Just in case you don’t realize it, ZOMBIE ASS is full of toilet humor (come on; the word ‘toilet’ is in the friggin’ title), fart humor, shit humor, and some downright good old fashioned gross out humor. Still with me?

The film begins with four teens heading up to the mountains to go fishing. Pretty Megumi (ArisaNakamura) is still trying to overcome the suicide of her sister, Ai, who killed herself due to being relentlessly tormented by bullies at school. Megumi, who has a penchant for generic-looking female sailor outfits, promised herself she’d never feel weak again and has since taken up and mastered karate. Megumi can now kick some serious ass (hee hee). She lets her friend Aya (Mayu Sugano) talk her into accompanying her, her delinquent, drug abusing boyfriend Tak (Kentaro Kishi), their goofy friend Naoi (Danny), and their very hot wannabe-model friend Maki (Asana Mamoru). Once they get to the mountains, Maki tells them the real reason they’re up there is to catch a trout in order to find a particular parasite that she can swallow to make her not just thin, but “Super model thin.” Hey why not; it beats eating that shitty Weight Watchers food!! In a rather disgusting scene (one of many here, folks), Maki cuts a very long and ugly parasite out of a trout and proceeds to swallow it down in one gulp. A little while later Maki is doubled over with intense stomach pains proceeded by excessive farting (excessive farting) and finally the feeling she’s gonna shit her (sexy) panties (sorry; she’s a pretty hot gal). Before you can wipe the tears from your eyes from laughing so hard at her farting, she’s squatting over a hole in an outhouse ready to unload when she’s attacked by a group of shit-covered zombies coming up out of the hole. Disgusting? Definitely. Funny? Absolutely!!

The kids then find themselves being saved by Dr. Tanaka (Kentaro Shimazu) who lives out in this remote village with his daughter Sachi (Yuki). Little do they know that the good doc is out there experimenting on the parasites and zombies in order to keep his little girl alive. Now our gang must fight off a horde of shit-covered zombies as well as a crazy doctor, his equally insane daughter, and swarms of anal-penetrating butt parasites!! Yeah; this one is bat-shit crazy (hee hee), completely over the top (even for a Iguchi film), and does it’s best to out-gross itself with each passing second. Just when you think this film has bottomed out (hee hee) it manages to delve deeper into a Freudian cache of poop humor, girls getting anally wrecked by parasites, excessive farting to the point where a character takes flight, and ultimately a fight with the Queen Parasite that ends poorly for everyone involved. The whole time we experience this we get shot after shot of really pretty/sexy girls in panties and even get a scene of borderline lesbianism. Yup, ZOMBIE ASS has a little something for everyone!!

So is this fun or just silly, childish toilet humor from an anally obsessed Japanese director? Yes!! It’s like dipping a chocolate bar into peanut butter (I bet you’ll never look at a Fece’s Peanut Butter Cup again the same way … Reece’s, I meant ‘Reece’s’). ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD is what it is and Iguchi makes no apologies. This is a hilarious film that takes crazy Japanese horror films to a whole nutta level. This is best enjoyed with a group of like-minded friends, lots of alcohol, and a few women in the group. No matter how prude your guests are, they won’t be able to stop themselves from smiling and giggling at various scenes. Most times when you say a movie is “shitty” that’s not a good thing; but here it’s a high compliment!! Check this one out and have a shitty time. I mean that.

My Summary:
Director: Noboru Iguchi (& co-writer with three others)
Plot: 3 out of 5 turds
Gore: 8.5 out of 10 brown travelers
Zombie Mayhem: 4 out of 5 wet farts
Reviewed by Scott Shoyer (Anything Horror) from the Texas Frightmare Weekend 2012

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