28 March 2010

Halloween 2 2009 - REVIEW

If this comes off as a scatter brained review, it's because it is. My mind is going in so many different directions I can't keep it all straight. So without further ado here is my review of Halloween 2 (2009).......

Against my better judgement, I finally made time to sit down and watch this movie. I didn't like the first one so I don't know why I was expecting anything different this time around but I thought hey, at least I can say I tried. There was no plot, the characters were shallow and mean and I found myself wanting Michael Meyers to butcher the whole lot of them. There was no "hero/heroine" to root for. The soundtrack was crap, the writing was horrible the suspense was non existent and so on and so on. I just kept thinking, it's gotta get better cuz it couldn't really get any worse. Well.... Danielle Harris has a line in this movie that pretty much sums up how I feel about it and it goes something like this... "I'm not impressed."

So, let's get into characters... ugh.

Rob Zombie took certain liberties that never, EVER should've made it on screen, at least not for the Halloween franchise.

He turned Laurie Strode into a prescription drug addicted psychotic that goes off on anyone who tries to help her. There is nothing interesting about what Scout Taylor-Compton brings to the character but I'm sure she did the best she could with the shit she was given. All in all, I found myself not caring if she survived the movie or not. I was actually hoping MM would kill her off and be done with it.

He turned Dr. Sam Loomis into a money grubbing fame seeker with no empathy for any of MM's victims. He even has a line... "When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you." WHAT?!? I don't expect a remake to be exactly like the original but as far as characters go, I don't feel they should be changed in such a drastic way. No one wants to hate Dr. Loomis. He's an obsessive compulsive doctor whose spent a lifetime studying MM and would never use him as a means of exploitation. The scene where he's doing a book signing and the father of one of the victims comes in and berates him for "killing his daughter" is so over the top and ridiculous it's almost comical. Even the years of experience that Malcolm McDowell brings couldn't save this re-invented Dr. Loomis character.

Of course, RZ always has to have his snoozefest of a wife in each and every movie but I was certain since she blew her head off in the first one, she wouldn't be in this one. What the hell was I thinking? She's in flashbacks and even comes to MM in ghost form to tell him what needs to be done. Something about a river of blood or some bullshit like that. Every time she came on screen, I had to laugh at the stupid blank expression on her face.

Then of course, you have MM whose character is so different from the original it makes me sick. The original MM was a mindless killer that did it just because he could but he also had a naive, almost child like quality to him. This one, I just kept expecting him to pick up a guitar and go jam with ZZ Top. And since when does MM take off his mask and go for a walk out in the open. In the original, we never saw him walking and walking and walking he was just there. We sure never saw him dragging along his dead mom and inner child as he relentlessly pursued his little sister. And what the hell is up with the hooded coat and scarf? MM belongs in his mask and pair of dirty coveralls and that's it. He is one of the simplest characters in the movie and RZ took him way over the top with the grunting and even talking at one point! Ok it was just one word but it was still talking!

I was so aggravated with the dialogue that I could've watched the entire movie with no sound and it would've made it more interesting. It was almost like RZ couldn't think of any other dialogue so he just decided to add the word fuck at the end of each sentence and sometimes in the middle and sometimes at the beginning, middle and end. It was like a fuck fest without the sex.

It was bloody and disgusting enough to satisfy my wants but the kills were unimaginative and not very well thought out. Most of the time it was just a shadow killing a shadow or MM stabbing repeatedly. I have no doubt Tyler Mane was exhausted by the time filming was finished.

There is so much more I could go on about but I don't see the point. If asked, I would say definitely don't waste time watching this movie. The only thing you'll be left with is an aching desire for MM to come out of the TV and put you out of your misery.

Rotten Tomatoes lists this film at 21% positive feedback with 68 reviews counted.

23 March 2010

The House of the Devil (2009) - REVIEW

The House of the Devil is the kind of movie that either you like it or you don't, there really is no in between. It's the kind of movie that has audiences and critics divided. I can tell you that I loved the concept, the setting, the props, the way it was shot and all that stuff. However, I did not enjoy the movie as a whole and I'm gonna tell you why. You can either hate me for it or love me for my brutal honestly.

The beginning of the movie was fine, the end was... meh but I could've easily done without everything in the middle. In my opinion, with a little more gloss, this movie would've made a great short film. However, it wasn't. It was long, painfully long. The only thing this film effectively did was bore me to the point where all I wanted to do was dig the boogers out of my nose (kidding).

The main character, Samantha (Joceline Donahue), had no depth or substance and in fact, the character I found the most colorful had her face blown off within the first 30 minutes *sniff*. And while we're on the subject of characters, let me just say that we all know Tom Noonan does creepy very well but even his performance fell flat for me.

It's so slow paced that her pizza delivery came in real time. I'm serious! After being a little creeped out by some random old house noises, she decides to call in a pizza order. Then she had a candy bar, attempted some homework... no pizza... watched a little TV, rummaged through some drawers... no pizza... put on her totally 80's cassette tape and had a Footloose moment around the entire house, broke a vase, cleaned it up... where's the fucking pizza!? I found myself more concerned about where the pizza was than whether or not she would finally open the right door and see the cluster fuck of dead bodies sprawled all over the floor.

After eating two bites of the "drugged" pizza, she has some more freak out moments and spends the next 15 minutes of the movie walking around with a knife behind her back.

Now, finally, 75 minutes or so into the movie the action begins. But just when I start digging it, it's over and I'm left just kinda sitting there in WTF mode.

I guess where this movie went wrong for me was it's slow pace. I like the in your face kind of horror that has you on the edge of your seat because you can't wait to see what happens next not because you're afraid you'll fall asleep if you sit back.

I really wanted to like this movie. I had heard such great things. If you're a fan of the slow paced horror, this is probably something for you. If not, I'd suggest adopting a pet or helping a color blind person with a paint by number, anything but this movie.

20 March 2010

The Many Faces of Kane Hodder

As far as horror fans are concerned, this man needs no introduction. He is an actor, stuntman, producer and director. Coming in at 6' 3 1/2" tall, he is a commanding presence in any room.

For more information check out: Full Bio

19 March 2010

Hatchet 2 (Coming Soon)

Looks like we have a teaser poster for Adam Green's 'Hatchet 2'. The movie, which is slated for release in October 2010, follows Marybeth as she escapes from the clutches of Victor Crowley, learns the truth about his curse, and heads back into the haunted New Orleans swamp to seek revenge for her family and kill Victor Crowley once and for all...

The first Victor Crowley movie with the "Old school American horror" tagline came out in 2006 with an all star horror movie cast including Robert Englund, Kane Hodder and Tony Todd. Again, Green has managed to round up another great cast featuring everyone's favorite horror movie darling Danielle Harris. Kane Hodder and Tony Todd are also back for the second time around.

The first film received mixed reviews from critics. Rotten Tomatoes reported that 47%of critics gave positive reviews based on 38 reviews. Another review aggretator, Metacritic, the film has received a 57% approval rating based on 8 reviews. Harry Knowles of Ain't it Cool News, described it as "...Pure old school horror fun." and picked Hatchet as one of the "Top 10 Films of the Year" for 2006.

Watching the first film brought me back to the classic 80's slasher type movie. I can see Victor Crowley as the next Jason, Michael or Freddy. I look forward to the sequel and hope that Adam Green can keep with the same pace of the first one blow me away again.

The Crazies 2010 (SPOILERS) - REVIEW

In a time where remakes are "all the rage" I found this one to be a breath of fresh air. Breck Eisner turns this film (a remake of the 1973 George A. Romero's movie) into a nail biting, fast paced, thrill a minute movie. Not only is it well done but it's well acted and it has some of the best "jump scares" that I've seen in a long time. So often in horror films they are over used and without inspiration... (the girl walking backward into the killer, etc). This movie plays exceedingly fair with the "jump scares" because in fact, if you see something moving, it is one of the crazies and not a cat. The suspense builds and builds so that when the scare comes, you're already about to pop out of your seat.

So, what goes wrong in the quaint little town of Ogden Marsh? The better question would be, what doesn't go wrong? From the government conspiracy to the raging maniacs running through town to the shoot first ask questions later military guys.

Timothy Olyphant does a great job as Sheriff David Dutt*n (spelled Dutton in the credits but Dutten the one time we see it on screen) stuck in the middle of a town thats residents have gone completely bonkers. Being from a small town myself, I can tell you that there is nothing worse than a bunch of seemingly cracked up hillbillies (kidding but not really). Sheriff Dutton is the kind of guy who rises to the occasion, but doesn't surpass it completely. If you're looking for a Commando type hero, this movie isn't for you. He has to constantly fight with his own instincts and change his attitude during the course of the movie (save everyone, save a few, save himself).

Along with his deputy (Joe Anderson) Sheriff Dutton rescues his doctor wife (Radha Mitchell) and Becca Darling (Danielle Panabaker) from the nut job principal that dispenses justice in the form of a pitch fork. Scary right? Well that's not even the worst of it. Then they have to deal with the "hillbilly" crazies trolling the streets for survivors that they shoot and throw in the back of their pick-up. THEN the military comes in and isolates the sick from the rest of the town, or so we think. Turns out, they're sole mission is to wipe out the entire town, sick or not, by shoving them into cattle trailers and executing them in large groups.

The car wash scene was particularly claustrophobic for me. Crazies around every corner, busting windows with their faces, yanking people out with cords, poor Danielle Panabaker can't catch a break in these horror films, not to mention you have a possibly infected companion in the back seat and a military chopper circling above. (BREATHE). If ever there was a time to "get the fuck outta dodge", that would be it.

Ultimately, 'The Crazies' is the rare remake that gets the job done, and manages to actually improve on the original. Then there's that really fun cameo appearance from the original's own Lynn Lowery, herself something of a cult icon. While this movie does have its share of gore, it's not excessive and, in my opinion, is just enough to satisfy even my greedy needs. The film comes at you full speed and is very gripping. One moment I was tense and on the edge of my seat, the next I was laughing, but never once was I bored or left wanting more. When I can say that about a horror film, it's always going to be high on my list. Films like THE CRAZIES give us hope to the slowly dying horror genre. Let's hope Hollywood makes more movies like this.

Release Date: February 26, 2010
Director: Breck Eisner
Writer: Ray Wright Scott Kosar
Starring: Timothy Olyphant
Radha Mitchell
Danielle Panabaker
Joe Anderson
Studio: Overture
Rating: R

18 March 2010

Night of the Demons (2009)

This being our first attempt at movie blogging, it was hard to decide what to write about. Do we go old movie or new movie? So, (pardon the pun), we decided to go both ways. With that said, here is our take on Night of the Demons (2009)

The story line follows Maddie Curtis and her friends Lilly and Suzanne. It's Halloween and they're going to a party thrown by their friend Angela at the notorious Broussard Mansion in New Orleans. Almost a century ago, several people disappeared from the mansion without a trace. The owner, Evangeline Broussard, was later discovered hanging in the house, an apparent suicide.

Halloween only makes the Broussard Mansion more enticing for the rowdy crowd of seniors at least until the police storm in and bust up the party.

After everyone else has gone, the ones left behind discover their cell phones don't work and the mansion gates are now mysteriously locked. Soon it becomes clear that supernatural forces are at work at the Broussard Mansion, and that there may be more to the tale of Evangeline Broussard than anyone knew.

Turns out that the Broussard Mansion is home to demons that need to possess seven vessels to break free of an ancient curse. One by one the guests fall victim to the demons, transforming into hideous creatures. Only Maddie, Colin and Jason remain but can they discover the secret to surviving and once they do, can they make it through the night?

Release Date: September 23, 2010
Director: Adam Gierasch
Writer: Adam Gierasch and Jace Anderson
Starring: Diora Baird
Shannon Elizabeth
Monica Keena
Bobbi Sue Luther
Jonathan Beach
Michael Copon
Tiffany Shepis
Edward Furlong
Studio: Prodigy Entertainment
Rating: R