BestCollegesOnline.net's Top 10 Haunted Houses

I was recently contacted by Tim over at bestcollegsonline.net who asked me to share their post of the 10 best haunted house attractions. Check it out below! I know from personal experience that one of them really ROCKS!

Today’s haunted house attractions are more terrifying and believable than ever before, thanks to state-of-the-art animatronics, visual effects and talented actors that have the power to scare just about anyone and everyone. Expert ratings and reviews say these haunted houses are the best of the bunch and the best boo! for your buck.

1. The Darkness Haunted House
Missouri is the Show-Me State, and St. Louis will show you a frightening time at its renowned haunted house, The Darkness. The Darkness features two floors of your worst nightmares, as monsters, ghouls and 3D clowns and killer circus animals chase and taunt you till the very end. Expect new additions to The Darkness this Halloween, such as a turn-of-the-century funeral home with mirror mazes, ancient graveyards and an animated falling barrel wall.

2. The 13th Gate Haunted House
Take the Hellevator to the 13th gate, where you’ll find 13 themed indoor/outdoor scenes of your worst nightmares come to life. Here you’ll crawl through a crematory oven, get lost in a dark underground tunnel and stand on a creaky bridge overlooking live snakes. The 13th Gate is New Orleans most spine-chilling haunted attraction and a national chart-topper.

3. Edge of Hell
Say your prayers when you enter the Edge of Hell, Kansas City’s oldest and best haunted house. Established in 1975, this converted five-story warehouse features 30 minutes of state-of-the-art technology and heart pounding scares, like sliding from heaven down a spiral slide into the Devil’s arms, being taunted by 45 live actors and seeing the glowing eyes of two 20-foot live anacondas. Edge of Hell has tons of good old fashioned scares and devilish delights that you won’t want to miss!

4. Headless Horseman
Prepare yourself for forty-five acres of pure fear, beginning with a one-mile hayride through the dark woods of Ulster Park, New York, with the Headless Horseman himself chasing you down. Then, you’ll be led through a labyrinth-style corn maze, into five horrific haunted houses. The eerie farm land and surreal experience will have your head spinning all night.

5. Nightmare on the Bayou
Situated next to Houston’s oldest graveyard, visitors can experience actual hauntings at the Nightmare on the Bayou. This terrifying haunted house experience starts with a heart pumping outdoor attraction, as you make your way inside to a clown room, caged hallways and a creaky bridge with zombies and a chainsaw man chasing you through a hedge maze.

6. Cutting Edge Haunted House
Cutting Edge holds the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest haunted house in the world, totaling 55 spine-chilling minutes. Your worst nightmares take place in the 100-year old abandoned meat packing plant in Fort Worth, Texas, in the historic area known as “Hell’s Half Acre.” Here you’ll encounter monsters, clowns, swirling tunnels and what seems like a never-ending maze to leave this journey through hell.

7. Netherworld
Atlanta’s Netherworld is another world of terror that has more scares, more haunts and more chilling effects than most haunted houses. As soon as you arrive, you’ll get a taste of Netherworld when you encounter terrifying creatures following you to the door way. Inside, you’ll get spooked by live actors, animatronic scare zones and movie quality special effects that will have you thinking you’re in a horror movie, and just guess who’s starring as the victim.

8. The Dent Schoolhouse
Cincinnati’s Dent Schoolhouse depicts the frightening events of a murderous janitor who killed over 35 kids in this haunted schoolhouse from 1894. This terrifying experience will have your heart pumping as monsters, ghouls and a lone janitor terrorize you till the end. For an added haunt, visit the new detention hall where the troubled kids don’t want you to leave and the exit is hard to find.

9. The Bates Motel
The Bates Motel in Philadelphia will have you checking out in no time. The horror begins with a 20-minute hayride at Arasapha Farms, amid a dark, haunted forest with ghouls and zombies darting out at you, followed by the main attraction – The Bates Motel. This Victorian mansion is filled with state-of-the-art computer controlled animatronics, terrifying sounds and live actors who will reach out and touch you at any time.

10. The Asylum
The Asylum is Denver’s most horrifying and gruesome Halloween experience by far. Visitors walk through two levels of Gordon Cottingham’s Hospital for the Mentally Insane, where spiders, rats and snakes roam and the screams of tortured patients never stop.

Wolf Wolff's The Beast Within (AKA Virus Undead) 2008 - REVIEW

It's no secret that Germany did quite a bit to shape the face of early horror, but while its primary contributions lie in its early years, the story of German horror movies extends all the way up to the present day. German horror is said to have inspired American monster films such as Dracula, Frankenstein and The Mummy. That may be the case but it's fairly safe to say that this film will not be inspiring anything more than a bonfire.

After his scientist grandfather (Joost Siedhoff) dies, medical student Robert (Philipp Danne) and some friends return to his hometown to settle the estate. Along the way they pick up an ex-girlfriend, now running her parents gas station and studying biology on the side and her best friend. Once at the estate, they discover his grandfather had been infecting birds with a virus that, when transferred, causes corpses to reanimate and search out human flesh. They soon find themselves surrounded by zombies with nowhere to run.

So much is wrong with this film I don't even know where to start. I guess the box art is the best place to begin. This film wouldn't stand up next to a turd out of Alfred Hitchcock's ass much less a classic like The Birds. So it's not only laughable that they would call it Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds meets Outbreak but blasphemous. On top of that, I don't see the point in having the entire cast speak English when it's clear they're in Germany. I've been to Germany several times and I can tell you if they don't have to speak English, they don't. The voice over work is just terrible, especially with Marlene (Birthe Wolter) and in several scenes the lip action (yes I just said lip action) doesn't match up with the words. My point?? If the plan is to have them speak English, why not bring in actors that actually speak English well enough to make it through the whole film? Or if their target audience was the US they could've just shot it all in German and used subtitles. It wouldn't be the first time that was done.

The film tries too hard to capture the typical (over exaggerated) hillbilly cliches. There's the "unlikeable town cop" who wears over sized sunglasses and would rather stand around and eat donuts than actually police. The "town bully" outfitted in leather with tattoos and a goatee who works at a restaurant in the middle of the woods that makes hot dogs out of roadkill. Why not try something different? The whole hillbilly things is out dated and over used, even in American film making. Then... OMG, get this.... then the meager young things they picked up at the gas station go all Resident Evil on the zombies. They're kicking their asses with some moves that would make Milla Jovovich cower in fear. And all I could think was "I didn't see that coming."

From beginning to end, it's just a cluster fuck of scenes pasted together to take up more screen time. There's a car crash at the beginning that is never referenced again. No explanation of why the car crashed or what happened to the occupants. Another scene somewhere in the middle shows a couple of guys hanging out in the middle of the road and when they finally pull off, there's a frog. No, I'm not kidding. The direction was strong enough that had most of it been left on the cutting room floor it wouldn't have been a terrible short film.

Four times, I repeat, four times I tried to watch this film and even as I sit here and write this review all I can think of is "Why does it sound like someone is walking around upstairs when I'm home by myself?" Yes, it's that bad. I don't recommend it, not even to zombie enthusiasts. The dialogue is terrible, the acting is even worse and the plot is paper thin. Just take a look at the trailer below and you'll get the gist of it from that.

Hatchet II 2010 - REVIEW

If you've followed my sight for very long then you know that I am a huge Adam Green fan. He is quickly becoming a force to reckon with in the horror community. From the original Hatchet to Spiral to Frozen he has consistently given horror fans what they want. The original Hatchet didn't do so well in theaters but gained a huge following once the DVD was released. Green was pelted with requests for a sequel and once again gave horror fans what they wanted. Believe me when I say he knows what we (well most of us) want. A rip roaring good time full of gore and cheesy one liners. He makes me, a child of the 80's, feel like a kid again with his ability to channel the old school style and bring it to life on the big screen.

Once again, we join Marybeth (Danielle Harris) at the exact moment the original ended as she escapes the clutches of Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder). Marybeth seeks out Rev. Zombie (Tony Todd) in search of answers regarding her family's connection to the slasher in the swamp. With his own ulterior motives in mind, he gathers a group of money-hungry hunters and heads off to the swamp to confront the legendary evil.

Before I give my thoughts on the film I have to say that I am seriously disappointed in my local horror community. We got to the theater an hour ahead of start time because I was certain there would be a line of hungry horror fans just waiting to indulge in the gore and mayhem. Turns out it wasn't necessary because we were the only four people in the theater. It was nice because we could kick back and enjoy the film without all the usual distractions but I'd expected to see so many more genre fans come out in support of unrated horror. All the bitching and complaining on Twitter and Facebook about horror not having a voice and this is unfair and that's unfair and we're the only four people in there? WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! Nothing is gonna change if we keep pussing around and shying away from things we should be standing up for. Ok, stepping off my soap box now.

Keeping with typical slasher format, there really isn't much character development going on but under the circumstances it's not really necessary. Green knows how to make a fun film and if he wanted it to be a likable cast, he'd have written them that way. I often have issues when there's a major cast change in a sequel but veteran scream queen Danielle Harris fit perfectly into the role of Marybeth. Colton Dunn's character Vernon cracked me up every time he appeared on screen. His 'Chicken and Biscuits' song had me rolling. Word is it was completely improvised but I can't say for sure. Parry Shen makes another appearance as the goof ball side kick. Not much different than his role in the original except he may be a little smarter this time around... NAH. AJ Bowen has what will probably go down in horror history as one of the best sex scenes ever. I had hoped he'd have a little more screen time but he made an impression nonetheless. Even Adam Green makes an appearance as a puking Mardi Gras patron. And let's not forget horror veteran R.A. Mihailoff as the take no shit hunter Trent.

Hatchet II starts off rather slow, much slower than the original but rest assured the violence is coming. And while we're on the subject, Green comes up with some of the most creative kill scenes in horror history and apparently scoured the shelves of Fastenal for the biggest chainsaw I have ever seen. It's a good thing Kane Hodder is both Jason and Victor Crowley otherwise there might be a little chainsaw envy going on there. Originally I wasn't convinced that it would make sense for Marybeth to go right back into the swamp after the shit storm she just survived but Green worked his magic and made it plausible. This film is what it is and you know exactly what you're in for when you walk in the theater (well now you have to wait for the DVD - thanks MPAA). Green set out to make a 100% fan film and that's what he did. It's a throwback and a tribute to every slasher before it. Full of grit and guts and campy humor. You're either gonna love it or hate it.

Even though Hatchet II was unfairly pulled from theaters the point has been made. It will still go down in history as one of the few unrated films to show in theaters and all the attention it's getting will bring more horror fans to the DVD once it's released. Whether you're a Hatchet fan or not you have to respect Green for sticking to his guns and fighting for his film to be shown in all it's gory... er... glory. Kudos to him bringing attention to cause of unrated horror. I'm sure it gave him many headaches and caused him much stress but hopefully more indie directors/producers/studios will take a cue from him and fight for the same privileges the bigger budget productions are given.

Unrated Hatchet 2 Gets Pulled From Theaters

I had every intention of sitting down today and busting out my Hatchet 2 review. That was until word came yesterday that the film had been pulled from Canadian and US theaters. I was fortunate enough to see Hatchet 2 opening weekend and I can honestly say as a huge Hatchet fan that I saw NOTHING in this film that should've been edited out to begin with. Adam Green set out to make a silly, campy, gory fan film and that's exactly what he did. He didn't do it for himself, he did it for us... genre fans, film fans, Hatchet fans.

Mainstream Hollywood and the MPAA have appointed themselves judge, jury and executioner. Who are they to say what we can and can't watch? Are everyone of us so totally twisted that we have to be protected from ourselves? I don't think so. For me it's all a matter of what the public wants, not what the MPAA thinks we need. It's pointless censorship and goes against the freedom of speech (just my humble opinion). And really, what difference does it make when unrated DVD's are released everyday? What's next? They come into your home and pull every inappropriate DVD from your shelf and tell you you can't watch it? I think it's ridiculous that big studio horrors can get into theaters with an R rating yet indie films still get chopped to pieces when it's not even necessary.



If you go back and look there are plenty of gore filled films that were allowed to ride out their screen time; Saving Private Ryan, Hostel, The Hill Have Eyes (remake) and Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 to name a few. I find it odd that Adam Green ruffles a few feathers and his film gets yanked before it's ever really given a chance. Yes, it didn't have the best opening weekend but you're talking about a film that's only advertising was internet and word of mouth. There were no TV spots or billboard ads hyping up the film. Want a good example? I guess the most recent would be Uma Thurman's Motherhood. Opening weekend it released on 48 screens and made only $50,000.00. Then it was allowed to run for another two weeks pulling in a measly $11,000.00. That's about $817.73 per screen on a combined average. So, to say that poor performance is the reason it was pulled is just a bunch of bullshit. At least AMC had the balls to make an effort to show it. I've no doubt that the evil MPAA bullied them into pulling it. But again, that's just my opinion and who am I? No one.

I'm proud of Adam Green for taking a stand and putting out a film that his fans asked for and for having the guts to go up against the MPAA and fight for his work. Most people bow down and kiss their asses for screen time. After all, if you create something, don't you want to show it how it's meant to be? I would. Kudos to Adam Green and AMC.

Trick 'r Treat Photo Contest

Hopefully by now you've been fortunate enough to see Michael Dougherty's Trick 'r Treat (2007). Even I, being the horror movie freak I am, hadn't heard of it until last year. I'm not sure if it's because of advertising or if it was just a limited release DVD. Doesn't matter. I've seen it now and can say for sure that it's a very fun, very creepy ride.

Five interwoven stories that occur on the same block, on the same night. A couple finds what happens when they blow a jack o' lantern out before midnight, a high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer, a college virgin might have met the right guy for her, a group of mean teens play a prank that they take too far, and a hermit is visited by a special trick or treater.

So, here's the challenge.... Submit your creepiest, scariest Halloween photos to twistedcentral@gmail.com. We're looking for zombies, slashers, witches or warlocks... any photo that is YOURS. Please do not submit photos found online as they will not be considered at all. The winning photo will be chosen October 15, 2010 so that gives you plenty of time to get them in. The winner will receive a Trick 'r Treat DVD just in time for Halloween. The contest is open to any and everyone BUT keep in mind that the DVD is in standard US format.

Piranha 3D 2010 - REVIEW

As a child sitting as close to the TV as possible watching man eating fish devour everyone in sight, I was in awe of the carnage and mayhem before me. Piranha (1978) proved that you could poke fun at an epic film i.e. Jaws and still end up with campy greatness. As I said in my review of the original film, I was afraid for years to go in the lake for fear I'd become fish food. With Alexandre Aja pulling the strings on the remake, I was hoping for the same outcome. Unfortunately, what I got was a hot mess of T&A, bad scripting, shitty story lines and over acting. I'll give it to Aja, he came through on the death and destruction but even being the Gore Whore that I am, it wasn't enough for me to give the film more than a half nod.

A massive underwater quake unleashes thousands of prehistoric piranha. The timing is perfect as it just happens to be Spring Break and hundreds of thousands of drunk, horny college kids have descended upon the town of Victoria Lake, AZ. Seismologist Novak (Adam Scott) and his team are brought in to surmise the damage. Escorted by Sheriff Forester (Elisabeth Shue) they venture out to the quake area. Two of the team go in and only one comes back (well sort of). The conundrum now is how to get everyone out of the water and off the lake in one piece. It doesn't help that Sheriff Forester's son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) has gone rogue leaving his siblings to fend for themselves, on the lake of course. Throw in Eli Roth and a wet T-shirt contest and even gunshots can't get the sand rats out of the lake.

After the opening sequence with a drunk Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) in his denim shirt and black knit hat singing 'Show Me the Way to go Home' (real horror fans will get that one) I thought "Oh yeah, this movie is gonna ROCK!". Turns out other than gore, full frontal nudity of Danni (Kelly Brook) and a floating penis, that was the high point of the film. Shue and Scott did a decent job with the shit script they were given. Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd had extremely small cameos and ass kicker Ving Rhames wasn't given nearly enough to do. I found Forester to be dull in his character and acting and Jerry O'Connell was so over the top in his portrayal of wild, wild, wild Derrick Jones that I was glad the piranha tested out the how many licks question on his, uh, spirit.

While the film was laden with piranha attacks, people being run over by boats, electrocutions and even a mishap with a cable, OUCH, there was pretty much nothing to the script. The dialogue was so bland and riddled with predictable one liners. It almost seemed like Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg were just trying to fill time in between piranha attacks. As remakes go, it stayed pretty true to the original but then again, the story line can pretty much only go one way. As it were, I'm surprised they didn't give the piranha legs to walk on land with.

The 3D was just awful, especially in the opening sequence. I had to take my glasses off several times to avoid getting cataracts or some shit and spent the rest of the day with a massive headache. On the plus side, the CGI was very good and the piranha attacks were extremely violent. The carnage left behind looked awesomely realistic... not that I've seen a half eaten corpse IRL but I can imagine. There's no doubt, gore fans will dig it. It's not a terrible movie, I've seen worse, but if you're looking for storyline, I'd suggest something different. If all you want is tits, ass and blood, this is definitely the film for you.

Madman 1982 Coming to DVD

It's the final night for the season at a summer camp, and all of the counselors and children have gathered around the campfire to tell ghost stories. The director of the camp tells the story of Madman Marz, a deranged man who killed his family with an axe, not far away from the camp. Naturally one of the kids make fun of the story, but what no one realizes is that the legend is real, and that Madman Marz is still lurking around in the woods by the camp.


A couple of months ago I was channel surfing and came up on this film on Chiller (the best channel EVER... YEAH!). I started watching it and right away I could tell it was one of those campy horror flicks that I love. It was late so I set it to record and watched the rest of it a couple days later with every intention of reviewing it. Well, every day life got in the way and, like I said, months have passed. I searched blockbuster.com and found it wasn't available. I searched a little further and found that it FINALLY has a DVD release date of September 28, 2010. I myself have already reserved my copy and I suggest everyone else do the same!