The Thing 2011 - REVIEW

Hollywood has no shortage of remakes and reboots these days. Every time we turn around there's another one in our faces and let's be honest, most of them are not pleasant to sit through. Perhaps it's a fair to say that the powers that be in Hollywood took note of the outrage of most movie goers and decided to re-introduced prequels. Prequels have definitely gained significantly in popularity in the 2000's with more than fifty being made in just the last 12 years as opposed to the sixteen or so done between the 1948 - 1999. For those of you who don't know what a prequel is (I'm hoping that's no one)... it's a remake, but not.

Paranoia spreads like an epidemic among a group of researchers as they’re infected, one by one, by a mystery from another planet. Paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) has traveled to the desolate region for the expedition of her lifetime. Joining a Norwegian scientific team that has stumbled across an extraterrestrial ship buried in the ice, she discovers an organism that seems to have died in the crash eons ago. But it is about to wake up. When a simple experiment frees the alien from its frozen prison, Kate must join the crew’s pilot, Carter (Joel Edgerton), to keep it from killing them off one at a time. And in this vast, intense land, a parasite that can mimic anything it touches will pit human against human as it tries to survive and flourish.

The performances are about what you'd expect from a film with a 35 million dollar budget. I personally haven't seen a performance from Winstead that I didn't like... so far... I don't think... ok, not that I remember anyway. She has a great range and is really good at expressing emotion in her face making her performances believable. Eric Christian Olsen is another one that I like a lot. This is a more serious role than I'm use to seeing him in so it's nice to see that he can be more than just the resident goofball. Other than Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who's skills I think are terribly under estimated, the rest of the cast is basically unknown to me. Of course during reviews I always check out the IMDb pages which usually brings up an "Oh yeah!" moment or two. I was disappointed in how under used Edgerton was. Having not really read any synopsis or reviews for this film, I was almost certain that Olsen would've been "the man". Guess that's what I get for making assumptions, I'll try not to do that anymore... yeah right!

Overall, director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. and writer Eric Heisserer did an awesome job weaving this story together and making it intersect with John Carpenter's 1982 The Thing fairly flawlessly. I know this because as soon as 2011's prequel was over, we watched the one from 1982. Although I had seen it a million times, the similarities between the two were pretty dead on. From the room where they stored the alien when it was encased in ice to the dog chase ending. One literally leaves off where the other begins. I did find myself questioning a few things when it was all said and done but nothing that ruined it for me. This prequel was one of the rare good ones and I'd definitely recommend it to fans of John Carpenter's The Thing.

Mina Fedora's Music Video "Nightwatch" 2012 - Review

This is not going to be your normal horror review.  This is actually a review of a horror music video.  Yes, you heard me right a music video.  Strap in for our first music video review here at Twisted Central.

The video starts with a girl running through a house and has just been cut by a man stalking her with a knife.  She runs out the door and gets away. The rest of the video revolves around this guy who is obviously a knife wielding killer being followed around by the ghost of the person singing in the video.  The music itself is an R&B type of music with some techno styles in it and is not a fast paced song by any means.  A dark slow song that you can dance to that has a twist ending.

I have not seen many videos like this where it is straight out of the horror genre.  Being made by Keychain-Productions the look is very good, very clean, and professional.  The video does lack real actors but most music videos do not have very good acting so that’s no real loss there.  I have to admit I am not a fan of the type of music that Mina Fedora is singing but I was able to sit through it because the story was so interesting.  All in all I would definitely recommend this for a watch.  It’s all of 5 minutes long and even if you are not a fan of the R&B style hit mute and you can enjoy the story line.  Stay Twisted everybody!

Reviewed by J.R. Watkins

The Wizard of Gore 2007 - REVIEW

You really have to hand it to the Weinstein Company. For the last couple of years, they’ve been manning right the hell up, and helping to fill the racks of your local American consumer outlet of choice with UNRATED direct-to-DVD, or damn-close-to-direct-to-DVD, genre flicks.

For some reason, I always find myself a little apprehensive to snag these things up. I don’t know whether it’s the box art (usually some relatively cheapish-looking digital quickie, complete with the aforementioned lurid promise of UNRATED horror festivities inside) offending my fartsy, snobbish sensibilities or what, but I always feel a brief stab of blind panic when I consider watching one. I should add, though, that I have not been terribly disappointed by any of the releases that I’ve checked out. BLACK SHEEP was reasonably amusing, in a desperately early-Peter Jacksonesque sort of way, and I enjoyed DIARY OF THE DEAD and THE THIRD MOTHER, despite my initial misgivings regarding both. Also, The Dimension Extreme NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD re-release that accompanied DIARY to the shelves is pretty much the best transfer on the market.

At any rate (or UNRATE), whatever it was that I might have expected from this update of the 1970 H.G. Lewis splatter classic, about a theater of the Grand Guignol where beautiful women appear to be gruesomely murdered, but then appear not to have been murdered at all, but ultimately turn out to have been gruesomely murdered, what I ended up watching was, uhhh, different, to say the least.

Director Jeremy Kasten and writer Zach Chassle demonstrate, up front and early, that they aren’t averse to remixing the proceedings. Kip Pardue (Victor, in Roger Avary’s 2002 adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’ THE RULES OF ATTRACTION) opens the film by introducing his character, Ed Bigelow, and Ed’s underground newspaper, The Cacophony Gazette. Ed documents the seediest of bizarro club scenes in whatever post-millennial-noir city it is in which he resides with his girlfriend Maggie (Bijou Phillips). From there, the viewer progresses swiftly past a recurring cartoon bunny image, multitudinous naked nubile bodies, a fair amount of bad music, and two of the strangest Brad Dourif and Jeffrey Combs appearances to date. But you haven’t even gotten to Crispin Glover as Montag the Magnificent yet, bitch, so just sit still – he’s up next, and will gnaw on scenery and Suicide Girls alike.

Depending on your tastes, or relative lack of, there are a plethora of potential pros and cons to be found here. The direction and acting are mostly competent, considering the context. Pardue & Phillips didn’t really do much for me, but Combs, Dourif, and Glover especially, are a hoot. The updated thematic elements felt, to me, vaguely late-90’s-ish, with the whole ‘oh-so-dark-and-vaguely-goth-y’ thing, but that may just be me. Gratuitous nudity (female specifically) abounds. Regarding production values, the visual FX are pretty decent compared to some things I’ve seen recently, but the audio FX are truly the piece de resistance, in my opinion. Half the time, I honestly found myself wondering what dude got the dubious honor of stuffing a microphone up inside a nice, fat, uncooked turkey’s ass, before brutally ripping it apart with his bare hands and a set of Klein pliers. Maybe it’s just because I was listening via headphones, but there seems to be some great splattery sound design going on there.

Anyway, in conclusion, while I’m not sure I can comfortably suggest that everyone should necessarily run out and buy this, it may be worth it to check out if you’re a fan of the principles: blood, guts, boobs, semi-surreal nuttiness, and Mr. Crispin “I have a gynecologist’s chair in my living room!” Glover. The DVD includes the usual assortment of commentary, deleted scenes, and behind-the-scenes production docs (one on the film, one specifically on the Suicide Girls), as well as a few other nuggets.

Reviewed by: Miss J

Charming Incantations: Enticed Set To Release

Knightwatch Press has finally announced that they will be releasing the debut novel of South Africa’s superstar in the making, Monique Snyman. “Charming Incantations: Enticed”, the debut novel in a fantasy series for young adults has already raked up a nomination in 2010’s Watty Awards for Best Werewolf and young adults seem to have deemed it a worthy substitute after world renowned series’ like the Harry Potter Series and The Twilight Saga ended.

Synopsis:

When Lisa Richards’ parents die in a horrible accident, she never thought her life would change as drastically as it did. Not only does she have to take over the family business as being the Human Representative in a supernatural council, bound to protect the world from the common threat, but she also has to deal with falling in love with a werewolf that has a vampire best friend and try to keep herself alive long enough to defeat the goblin army.

“Charming Incantations: Enticed” might be the first novel in the series, but it sports a lot of mythology as well as mythological creatures. Yes, the run-of-the-mill vampires and werewolves might have also made their presence known, but banshees, witches, shape shifters and even satyrs are present! “Charming Incantations: Enticed” may also be a fantasy novel for young adults, but even adults would enjoy the action, romance and mythological twists and turns that seems to take place.

Although it is the introductory novel to the series, it certainly has stirred on some talk in the review world:

“…this story is to set up the groundwork for what should be an epic story.”

P*****OffGeek.com

“…it seems a good addition to the genre with a well-established world, wide ranging characters and an interesting True Blood meets Buffy kinda feel to it with its mix of romance, training to fight monsters, longing for an ordinary life when destiny is calling and big battles it isn’t quite either but reminded me of both.”

TheReviewCorner.com

The novel is set to release 13 March 2012 at all major online book retailers.

For more information about “Charming Incantations: Enticed” as well as an inside look into the background story as to how it was created, check out the site, which will take you to a blog and forum, which is run by the author.

About the Author:

Monique Snyman has always been a dreamer and from a young age she enjoyed to record those dreams as well as incorporate them into her writing. Born and raised in sunny South Africa, she was surrounded by nature for most of her life and it was the view outside her first apartment, which overlooked the Union Buildings in Pretoria, which inspired the original concept for Charming Incantations: Enticed. After much deliberation as to what to do with her life during 2009, it was this view that kept haunting her dreams… Soon, Monique decided to do something with those visions and it wasn’t very long before Charming Incantations: Enticed was born.

With a first, finished novel in hand, Monique started to submit her manuscript to various literary agencies, unfortunately it’s not as easy to be a writer as she had once assumed. After not getting any feedback from publishers and literary agencies, she decided to upload a chapter on a website called Wattpad every week, just to test the market. Amazingly enough, after only seven chapters uploaded she was nominated for a Watty Award 2010 in the “Most Popular Werewolf” category! It was then that she decided that there had to be at least one publisher out there that would like her novel… She was right. When Monique initially came across Knightwatch Press, a relatively new independent publishing house, she wasn’t exactly keen on giving her baby to these strangers. However, after only a month, the feedback came back and the contract was offered! Not only did Monique get a lot of encouragement from everyone regarding the first sequence in the Charming Incantations Series, but people wanted to hear what happens next!

Currently Monique lives in a new apartment, further away from the view that inspired it all and she’s brainstorming the second novel in the series, called Charming Incantations: Sanguine. With a new view, a new outlook on life and constant encouragement from friends, family and fans, Monique strives to breathe new life into mythology and inspire young adults to read into the antiquities that helped form the world we live in.

About Knightwatch Press:

KnightWatch Press is an independent comic book and trade paperback publisher. Specialising in primarily speculative fiction including but not limited to horror, sci-fi, fantasy and steampunk.

At a future point they will also be taking non-fiction submissions relating to esoteric studies. For more information on how to submit and for news please take a look at their website found at www.knightwatchpress.info.

Knightwatch Press is one of the fastest growing independent publishers out there and they treat their authors as though they are part of a family, which is what a publisher is supposed to do. Being less than a year old as of date, they are already producing numerous quality books for the masses. This is definitely a publisher you want to keep your eyes on.

PIX/SEE Productions Announces New Horror Film SCARE TACTICS

Award winning Gregory Blair will direct horror film favorite Bill Oberst, Jr. in SCARE TACTICS — a twisted valentine to the genre. Blair, who also penned the script, says “Horror is fun to write. I get goose bumps writing the stuff; that’s when I know it’s working.”

“Gregory has a talent for writing great scripts,” co-producer Roxy Shih of Good Kids Productions said. "SCARE TACTICS totally freaked me out and I knew I wanted to be involved!”

Bill Oberst, Jr. is virtually a horror icon. His unsettling screen presence has haunted dozens of horror films and his role in “Take This Lollipop”--the most popular (and frightening) application in Facebook history has made him an international phenomenon.

In SCARE TACTICS, Bill plays horror film writer Grafton Torn for whom hypnotherapy and nightmares reveal memories that might or might not be real…and that might or might not be deadly.

“I’m usually the bad guy,” Oberst says. “But SCARE TACTICS lets me be the one getting tormented. The question is...by who? Or what? It’s great because all of the horror fans I know are bored with clichés. SCARE TACTICS plays with all the clichés and twists them around. So it’s really fun.”

Blair recently took top honors in the Horror Screenwriting Contest for another horror screenplay, THE SISTERHOOD. That’s when he approached Bill with SCARE TACTICS. “We had been talking about working together,” Blair says. “THE SISTERHOOD wasn't the right vehicle for Bill, but SCARE TACTICS seemed a perfect fit. How fun would it be, we both thought, to have Bill on the other end of the hatchet for a change?”

Blair and Oberst are betting it will be fun. Bloody good fun.

To be a part of the project, go to the IndieGoGo campaign

Check out the official website and Facebook page or follow them on Twitter @ScareTactics1.

El Monstro Del Mar! 2010 - REVIEW

To be completely honest, I'm not really much for exploitation/grindhouse type films. I actually find them quite offensive... bahahahaha! Just kidding! Not too much offends me this day and age except when Hollywood takes a classic 80's TV show and turns it into the bumbling buddy, comedic bromance type crap that is the new 21 Jumpstreet. Just look at the ridiculous movie poster... for fuck's sake! Now a creature feature? I'll sit and watch one after the other without so much as a potty break in between.

In a small Australian coastal town, a trio of female hired killers, Beretta (Nelli Scarlet), Blondie (Karli Madden) and Snowball (Kate Watts) are hiding away in a seaside shack. Shortly after they arrive the they run afoul a cranky old neighbor (Norman Yemm) after taking a dip in the ocean. Shaking his fist, he urges them to stay out of the water warning of the dangers that lie in the deep igniting a feud between him and the girls until his granddaughter Hannah (Kyrie Capri) shows up to defuse the situation. The girls take a shine to Hannah and they become fast friends. Hannah is curious about the world outside of her small town and the rebellious lifestyle the trio represent. That night the grandfather’s warnings come true and the sea monster returns to the small town it ravaged years ago. Hannah, her grandfather and the three gorgeous killers must join together to survive the deadly Kraken’s attack.

Let me start off by saying the casting for this film was dead on (no pun intended). Norman Yemm does a fantastic job as the crabby old man. There wasn't a second in the entire movie where he didn't have me convinced. I absolutely loved his character. The girls did a great job as well. Especially given the outrageous scenes they had to play out. There were some awkward moments, just a few, but these are three vixens you definitely don't wanna cross paths with in a dark alley, or a brightly lit back road or at all for that matter. Capri holds her own as well playing the sweet, innocent granddaughter to a "delusional" old man. You can sympathize with her character almost immediately. She's a curious young girl trapped in a small town destined to rebel the first chance she gets.

I was pretty much digging this one from the beginning. One of the cool things about it was that it starts off in black and white with that sort of rockabilly flare but with the first drop of blood comes the color. It was a very cool transition that I personally hadn't seen before. There are couple of moments in the film where the soundtrack is too loud. Particularly during a key scene where it drowns out some important dialogue. A goof? Yes but not a major one. Stuart Simpson, who wrote, directed, filmed, edited and did all the visual effects, has crafted a very nice homage to 50's era film. It's grindhouse with a SciFi flare. It's campy, cheesy fun and it will entertain you the entire time. If you like that kinda stuff you're definitely gonna want to check this one out!

For more information on El Monstro check out the website monstromovie.com or visit them on Facebook.

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers 1988 - Review

 Summer camps are supposed to be a place where children and teenagers can go and have fun for a few weeks every summer. That’s not the case when a killer is on the loose and even more disturbing is the fact that SHE used to be a HE.

The story begins years ago at a campfire with 1 girl and a group of boys telling horror stories around the fire in the woods.  It is learned that Angela/Peter Baker, the Camp Arawak killer from the first movie, has had a full sex change operation while in a mental institution and was released. Angela (Pamela Springsteen) is now a camp counselor at Camp New Horizons and no one knowing about her past.  She shows up to keep Phoebe (Heather Binion) from hanging with the boys and in Angela’s opinion acting like a slut.  Walking back to camp there is an argument and Angela leaves Phoebe to walk back by herself.  Phoebe loses her way but never fear, Angela shows up to help her find it with a stick to the head.  Since Phoebe had such a filthy mouth her tongue gets cut out as well.  Angela is at it again not stopping till she has “sent home” all of the campers that are not good kids.  In her opinion that is all of them.  Not even the macho head counselor T.C. (Brian Patrick Clarke) and his super mullet can stop her. 

I want to start with saying that the director Michael A Simpson did a fantastic job of continuing the storyline of the original Sleepaway camp.  While Robert Hiltzik did a great job with the original movie, Michael took it a step further and adding dark comedy and less of a serious atmosphere.  This sequel is also filled with famous names as well.  Pamela Springsteen the little sister of “the boss” Bruce Springsteen, Renee Estevez who is the sister of Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen and let’s not forget the late Walter Gotell.  Rule #1 for a good slasher movie is you can’t enjoy it nearly as much unless there is bad acting.  The acting is not horrible, but not really great either.  At the same time Unhappy Campers is able to deliver a fun movie to watch.

I first saw this movie at the young age of 9 years old.  Yes folks, I had very cool parents that let me watch this kind of filth at a young age which may explain my twisted mind at the age of 31.  Anyway, when I first watched this movie I was hooked.  My dad and I rented it from Blockbuster video and I made him watch it 4 times before we returned the movie the next day.  I have to admit I had a HUGE crush on Pamela Springsteen and not even afraid that her big brother Bruce might beat me up for it.  It’s no secret that I am a huge slasher fan but some of my favorites involve some kind of camp or just in the woods.  It adds so much more to the whole creepy stalking factor.  This movie eluded me for many years.  By the time I was able to actually buy the movie for myself when I had a job at the age of 17 the movie as long out of print with no plans of release on DVD just yet.  2002 came along and the morning the box set was released I was at Best Buy before they even opened to buy the first copy off the shelves.  This was a good move because 2 weeks later the Red Cross had a fit they used the cross on the front of the Survival Kit box set cover and they all had to be pulled off the shelves to have it removed.  While all incarnations of this movie are all out of print you are able to find it on Amazon.com for a pretty decent price.  If you have not seen this movie, you just flat out need to.  Stay Twisted Everyone!
Reviewed by: J.R. Watkins