MonsterMatt's Bad Monster Jokes Vol 2 - Press Release

Book Announcement: Monstermatt's Bad Monster Jokes Vol.2

Monstermatt Patterson, Kyle Kaczmarczyk and West Neb Books are pleased to announce the upcoming Monstermatt's Bad Monster Jokes Vol.2, slated for a 2012 Halloween release.
This follows up the well-received first volume “bad” monster jokes. Monstermatt’s Vad Monster Jokes Vol.1 collected over 400 gags, puns, and rhymes. Vol.1 showcased monsters, horror films and all sorts of characters and creeps from across the horror genre. Vol.2 will have nearly 500 jokes, picking up where Vol.1 left off, to simultaneously lampoon and honor the obscure and profound elements of the weird world of monsters.

Vol.1 continues to receive great reviews from all over the globe. Vol.1 poked fun at independent films like Basket Case, The Manitou, The Human Centipede and Tromafilms, while also joking on the classicUniversal Monsters and movies.
What can readers expect from the follow up? Vol.2 keeps that theme alive, taking aim at the Killer Klowns From Outer Space, Faces of Death, Trog and many more! Once again, using a formula of rhymes, song parody lyrics, puns and zingers, coupled with insightful and humorous illustrations, the duo of Kaczmarczyk and Patterson hope to keep you grinning, groaning and laughing!

Monstermatt Patterson, dubbed ‘The Man of a Thousand Bad Monster Jokes,’ says, "We wanted to pay tribute to the classics, the b-movies, the grindhouse and obscure films, while making it fun and even educational, for most every age group, from horror novice to professional. We've gotten many emails about people getting into horror and or further into it, all because of the jokes and illustrations. There is something for nearly everyone!”

Praise for Monstermatt Patterson:
"If puns are guns, Monstermatt is a freakin' one man army!" -Tomb Dragomir, host of Rue Morgue Radio and Tomb TV "Monstermatt's jokes are so bad, they make me want to kill people. Then again, breathing makes me want to do the same thing!" -Kane Hodder, actor and stuntman, Friday the 13th franchise, Chillerama, Hatchet
“’MonsterMatt's Bad Monster Jokes' make even a dark, twisted soul like myself laugh out loud!" -John A. Schwartz - aka Alan Black, creator of Faces Of Death.

Monstermatt Patterson’s Bad Monster Jokes Vol.2 is slated for release in time for the 2012 Halloween Season.

While readers wait, they can indulge in other works by Kaczmarczyk, a comic book creator. His story appears in the N.Y. Times best sellers listed horror anthology, FUBAR. The mini- series he wrote, Igor: Occult Detective and his Red Eye comic book series, which he wrote and illustrated.

Monstermatt Patterson is a mask maker, an author and a horror artist. He can be heard on both the Rondo Award nominated podcast 6ft plus and the Screamwave podcast. You can read his columns with HorrorNews.Net, KillerAphrodite.com, Gravediggerslocal.com and Horrorsociety.com

Hatchet II 2010 - REVIEW

If you've followed my sight for very long then you know that I am a huge Adam Green fan. He is quickly becoming a force to reckon with in the horror community. From the original Hatchet to Spiral to Frozen he has consistently given horror fans what they want. The original Hatchet didn't do so well in theaters but gained a huge following once the DVD was released. Green was pelted with requests for a sequel and once again gave horror fans what they wanted. Believe me when I say he knows what we (well most of us) want. A rip roaring good time full of gore and cheesy one liners. He makes me, a child of the 80's, feel like a kid again with his ability to channel the old school style and bring it to life on the big screen.

Once again, we join Marybeth (Danielle Harris) at the exact moment the original ended as she escapes the clutches of Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder). Marybeth seeks out Rev. Zombie (Tony Todd) in search of answers regarding her family's connection to the slasher in the swamp. With his own ulterior motives in mind, he gathers a group of money-hungry hunters and heads off to the swamp to confront the legendary evil.

Before I give my thoughts on the film I have to say that I am seriously disappointed in my local horror community. We got to the theater an hour ahead of start time because I was certain there would be a line of hungry horror fans just waiting to indulge in the gore and mayhem. Turns out it wasn't necessary because we were the only four people in the theater. It was nice because we could kick back and enjoy the film without all the usual distractions but I'd expected to see so many more genre fans come out in support of unrated horror. All the bitching and complaining on Twitter and Facebook about horror not having a voice and this is unfair and that's unfair and we're the only four people in there? WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! Nothing is gonna change if we keep pussing around and shying away from things we should be standing up for. Ok, stepping off my soap box now.

Keeping with typical slasher format, there really isn't much character development going on but under the circumstances it's not really necessary. Green knows how to make a fun film and if he wanted it to be a likable cast, he'd have written them that way. I often have issues when there's a major cast change in a sequel but veteran scream queen Danielle Harris fit perfectly into the role of Marybeth. Colton Dunn's character Vernon cracked me up every time he appeared on screen. His 'Chicken and Biscuits' song had me rolling. Word is it was completely improvised but I can't say for sure. Parry Shen makes another appearance as the goof ball side kick. Not much different than his role in the original except he may be a little smarter this time around... NAH. AJ Bowen has what will probably go down in horror history as one of the best sex scenes ever. I had hoped he'd have a little more screen time but he made an impression nonetheless. Even Adam Green makes an appearance as a puking Mardi Gras patron. And let's not forget horror veteran R.A. Mihailoff as the take no shit hunter Trent.

Hatchet II starts off rather slow, much slower than the original but rest assured the violence is coming. And while we're on the subject, Green comes up with some of the most creative kill scenes in horror history and apparently scoured the shelves of Fastenal for the biggest chainsaw I have ever seen. It's a good thing Kane Hodder is both Jason and Victor Crowley otherwise there might be a little chainsaw envy going on there. Originally I wasn't convinced that it would make sense for Marybeth to go right back into the swamp after the shit storm she just survived but Green worked his magic and made it plausible. This film is what it is and you know exactly what you're in for when you walk in the theater (well now you have to wait for the DVD - thanks MPAA). Green set out to make a 100% fan film and that's what he did. It's a throwback and a tribute to every slasher before it. Full of grit and guts and campy humor. You're either gonna love it or hate it.

Even though Hatchet II was unfairly pulled from theaters the point has been made. It will still go down in history as one of the few unrated films to show in theaters and all the attention it's getting will bring more horror fans to the DVD once it's released. Whether you're a Hatchet fan or not you have to respect Green for sticking to his guns and fighting for his film to be shown in all it's gory... er... glory. Kudos to him bringing attention to cause of unrated horror. I'm sure it gave him many headaches and caused him much stress but hopefully more indie directors/producers/studios will take a cue from him and fight for the same privileges the bigger budget productions are given.

Unrated Hatchet 2 Gets Pulled From Theaters

I had every intention of sitting down today and busting out my Hatchet 2 review. That was until word came yesterday that the film had been pulled from Canadian and US theaters. I was fortunate enough to see Hatchet 2 opening weekend and I can honestly say as a huge Hatchet fan that I saw NOTHING in this film that should've been edited out to begin with. Adam Green set out to make a silly, campy, gory fan film and that's exactly what he did. He didn't do it for himself, he did it for us... genre fans, film fans, Hatchet fans.

Mainstream Hollywood and the MPAA have appointed themselves judge, jury and executioner. Who are they to say what we can and can't watch? Are everyone of us so totally twisted that we have to be protected from ourselves? I don't think so. For me it's all a matter of what the public wants, not what the MPAA thinks we need. It's pointless censorship and goes against the freedom of speech (just my humble opinion). And really, what difference does it make when unrated DVD's are released everyday? What's next? They come into your home and pull every inappropriate DVD from your shelf and tell you you can't watch it? I think it's ridiculous that big studio horrors can get into theaters with an R rating yet indie films still get chopped to pieces when it's not even necessary.



If you go back and look there are plenty of gore filled films that were allowed to ride out their screen time; Saving Private Ryan, Hostel, The Hill Have Eyes (remake) and Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 to name a few. I find it odd that Adam Green ruffles a few feathers and his film gets yanked before it's ever really given a chance. Yes, it didn't have the best opening weekend but you're talking about a film that's only advertising was internet and word of mouth. There were no TV spots or billboard ads hyping up the film. Want a good example? I guess the most recent would be Uma Thurman's Motherhood. Opening weekend it released on 48 screens and made only $50,000.00. Then it was allowed to run for another two weeks pulling in a measly $11,000.00. That's about $817.73 per screen on a combined average. So, to say that poor performance is the reason it was pulled is just a bunch of bullshit. At least AMC had the balls to make an effort to show it. I've no doubt that the evil MPAA bullied them into pulling it. But again, that's just my opinion and who am I? No one.

I'm proud of Adam Green for taking a stand and putting out a film that his fans asked for and for having the guts to go up against the MPAA and fight for his work. Most people bow down and kiss their asses for screen time. After all, if you create something, don't you want to show it how it's meant to be? I would. Kudos to Adam Green and AMC.